"Let Them Laugh!"

Daddy has been going in for Chemo Treatments every Monday for the past several weeks and leaving disappointed because they have not been able to administer his treatment. Who would have ever thought you could be disappointed for NOT being poisoned on a weekly basis? Well it happens. Daddy's Platelets are coming back too low and the Dr. says, "You would be in a lot of trouble if I gave this to you." Funny thing about that is, he is already in a bit of trouble, but we trust the Dr.'s there, they have been great to Daddy and our Family. When talking to Daddy yesterday after his appointment I told him "All we can do Daddy is what we can do, and that is all that can be done!" He smiled and said, "your right." I think he believed my statement more than I did. I know this is true, but it is difficult to see the "Silver Lining," as they say, when you see your Mother day after day do all she can to provide healthy meal plans, and detailed itineraries to help "Boost" Daddy's platelets, only to return back home dawning nothing but the look of dissapointment on her face. It brings up a lot of questions and it is difficult when talking with Daddy not to ask a billion of your own, but I have to remember that it does no one any good. The "what if's" and "why not's" do not help Daddy feel better and they certainly do not Cure Cancer! So what do we do? We move forward, its all we can do and we go to the next plan, which is this:
Chemo, for now, is to be administered Orally Twice a day every day and when Daddy's platelets go back up they will add the Gemcitabine. Until then we were given specific Training and Instructions on how to administer Chemotherapy at home. I have decided to post an instructional video here for all to see so that if you ever have to help administer Chemo for Daddy one day you will know how it is done. Please take the time to watch this short video so there are no mistakes and Daddy can continue with his treatments.


Daddy has been reading to me since I was young, and since his diagnosis last year I have been reading to him. I think some of our Favorite Characters have had a lot of great advice on how to live life and remember the important things. We are currently reading Frances Hodgson Burnett's,
"The Secret Garden"
In the chapter we last read Mrs. Medlock(Colin's Nurse) and Dr. Craven (Colin's Dr.) are discussing the reasoning behind the sudden and dramatic improvement of Colin's Health. Colin, who is a bit of a shut in and has been convinced he is an invalid, and so ill he is going to die has recently found a new lease on life, through the passion and inspiration of his cousin Mary and the joy and happiness they share within the walls of their secret garden. This is their conclusion and the remedy necessary to combate Colin's illness and aide in his recovery...

"...they laugh together, like a pair of crazy ones, perhaps they are growing fat on that" said
Mrs. Medlock.

"Perhaps they are," said Dr. Craven, "so, Let Them Laugh!"

"World's Greatest Dad!"

Today is Father's Day and obviously my Father is someone I absolutely Love, Admire and Adore. In fact as many know and may often tease me about My Father and I share a very special bond, I think that perhaps this is tied to the fact that I was Born June 15th 1980, which happened to also be Father's Day that year! Daddy, as I am told was expecting a boy, however what he got was of course an AWESOME AWESOME, Daughter...Just Kidding I will be modest and leave it at simply, ME! I am not sure if he was disappointed or not you would have to ask him, but what I will say is that although I didn't enter into this world with perhaps the expected anatomy, I did always love most things boys would have. For example, I begged and begged and begged for a BYU football for Christmas one year. I played on various little league, and basketball teams. Loved to go camping and fishing and never minded wearing jersey's over dresses. So whether it was on that day back in 1980 or not I think by now he has been slightly amused with how different I am. Daddy always encouraged me to be myself, to act how I wanted, Play the sports that I wanted, dress how I wanted (mostly a lot of basketball shorts and NO FEAR T-Shirts) but what he did without realizing it was he gave me the confidence to be ME. He taught me to love who I am and to love those for who they are and not for who others think they should be. This is a natural gift Daddy has, to love others and make them feel so special, relevant and important, Which brings me to my next point. Although my Family teases me and often refers to me as "The Favorite" I assure them I am not, Daddy has never admitted to that and I would be remiss if I didn't do the same, because what I would be doing is limiting the JOY and Experiences Daddy is entitled to has as the Father of Five Children and the "World's Greatest Dad!!!" I am sure you have all seen the T-shirts, Hats and Mugs that dawn this slogan, it is copyrighted and we as the Wintle Family do appreciate your many donations and years of support by continuing to purchase our merchandise and wearing our clothes. It is very kind and gracious of you to agree that our DAD Won this contest a long time ago!!!
Anyway back to what I was saying. All Five of us are so different and each play a unique role in Daddy's life, and especially since Daddy's Diagnosis.  Each of my Siblings have come to spend time with him in various ways, helping ease the burden of his heavy load and their strengths have been needed. I have watched as each have done different things to help Daddy through this experience, He has been to Yankee's Games, Camping, Fishing, Hiking and Golfing! He has been able to have Sleepovers with "Ariel," "Cinderella" and "Ursula!" And has even been able to spend time in the Garden with Timothy Green.  In these past few months I have seen each of  my siblings step up and contribute to Daddy's well being in one way or another but what has been the coolest thing to see and what I have come to recognize is that these roles have always been who they are in their relationship with Daddy and how they have always helped him.

Jared-

Jared is the Oldest and most like Daddy. They have the same features, Sense of Humor and parenting skills. They read the same books, watch the same movies, they really are like two peas in a pod, they are "Best Friends." Jared calls Daddy for anything, but Daddy calls Jared for everything. If Daddy needs help with anything around the house, Jared has to do it (unless its tiling then its Chris). If Daddy wants to go Fishing, Hunting, Hiking, or Camping, he wants to go with Jared. Jared is the one Daddy would call for a sleepover if grown men did that; Jared is the one Daddy wants to spend time with for no other reason than just to hang out. I think he confides in Jared a lot of his Fears or Concerns. I am sure there are secrets they share and memories they have created together that none of us know about, but will last forever defying the elements of time. Jared's very presence makes Daddy happy. He is Pal and confidant, he is his Best Friend

                    
                                                                                      Mindie-

Mindie is Daddy's Comic Relief; I hope she understands how important this role is, especially now. She has always been the funny one in every group, but especially in our Family. Daddy often laughs and shakes his head at things she says and does, but she can make him laugh, smile and forget any circumstance he is facing. Her humor and playfulness is a distraction for him and stories he shares about her and the funny things she does are endless, yet somehow are still things that for some reason surprise him. He admires her creativity and ability to capture the attention of so many. She is always the center of attention,  providing a much needed break from the weary thoughts walking about in Daddy's Mind. When Mindie is around his cup is full, his outlook is positive, and life feels simple again. It is fun, full of laughter, and something worth fighting for, that's what Mindie is for Daddy, She is his Fun!

Chris

"Stoph" ( a nickname I believe he received because when he would  skip school the automated recording from the school would say Chris-"Stoph" was not in class, instead of Christopher, so "Stoph" was born) is Daddy's Hero. Seriously, if you heard Daddy describe Stoph's many talents, but especially his athletic ability, you would think he could fly...You would also most likely think, he was a "Super-Hero." In fact I firmly believe Daddy thinks he is. Daddy worships Chris and his many gift's and abilities.  I think it is something he has always envied yet something that has allowed Daddy to vicariously experience the excitement of championships, last second shots, home-runs, and Fly Balls in the "HOLE."  When Daddy tells these stories you can almost see Chris soaring through the air and you don't have to pretend or even imagine to hear Daddy singing "JOYRIDE" (by 90's band "Roxette,") when describing Chris up at the plate because he will sing it for you and then you may begin to understand how it is that "JOYRIDE" =  A Home run!!! He has derived so much pleasure from watching Chris compete in anything, and he still does. Daddy still goes to watch Stoph and cheer him on (not sure if he gets kicked out of these games or not but that did happen quite frequently...poor Mom). The Pride found in Daddy's expressions and the excitement heard in his voice when he talks about Chris is something I would imagine most Son's would envy Christopher for and displays the sense of accomplishment and pride that most Dad's hope to experience as a Father.

                                                                                                              Sarah

Noelle (This is her middle name, she was born 2 days before Christmas, need I say more!) is the baby, and exhumes everything sweet and precious in this world for Daddy. She is beautiful, sweet and tender very much like our Mother, in fact when Daddy speaks about Sarah he often uses the same words he uses when describing my Mother and I don't think that is an accident. When Sarah walks into a room the adoration he has for her is very visible, from the look in his eyes, to the tone of voice he uses when speaking to her. Sarah truly is his baby. She is to him, a gift from the heavens and the "Princess" so many Father's often refer to as having. I would dare say she is his reward for making it through all the rest of us. One of his most Cherished Gifts.

So all of us are Daddy's Favorite Something. We all add to his title of "Father" which makes a day like to today well worth celebrating because we each add something a little different, but love him all the same and bring to him what they have always brought to him, love, adoration and happiness. All something any Father deserves to feel, but especially Ours and Especially Today!!! We Love You- Happy Father's Day!!!    

Behind Every Man is a Great Woman, and an Awesome Man Purse....

Tomorrow will mark 3 weeks since Daddy started his new treatment, it will also be the second round of treatment. Here is how he has been doing so far.
Day of Treatment:
Daddy goes in about 7:30 in the morning and treatment begins. Typically this is a 5 hour process, this being his first time however it ended up being a 7 hour process. Then he came home with his pump still attached to stay with him over the next 48 hours in an awesome "Fancy Little Looking Fanny Pack."
He did well with the Fanny Pack, in fact it received many compliments, our favorite however came from his 3 year old Granddaughter at 2 o'clock in the morning, the story goes something like this. Daddy had gotten up to use the bathroom and just as anyone would at 2 am he left the door unlocked. As he sat there on the his ivory post the door swung open and in walked Abby who through sleepy eyes smiled and said..."Hi Grandpa, I like your bag....I need to go potty!" this story of course has brought a lot of laughter to our family over the past few weeks and has led us to the conclusion that Daddy's Bag deserves some Décor, nothing specific has been planned yet but if he is going to have to carry it around like a "Man Purse" it is going to look as though it deserves the title...

The biggest change in side effects has been vomiting, extreme nausea, exhaustion, loss of appetite, and severe reactions to cold. While watering the garden Daddy put his hand over the nozzle of the hose to create a spray and immediately dropped the hose saying it felt as though he had been electrocuted. He is not able to drink cold liquids or step in the shower even before the floor has been warmed or he feels like he has been "Zapped" by the  "Bug Zapper", funny this use to be a favorite past time in our Family to run around and see who we could "Zap" but now I guess under these circumstances it's just not as fun.

Daddy has still been able to get out and accomplish all of the things he would normally have been doing. Exercise, Church Duties, Working outside, even a little bit of Fishing on his REEL Retreat. You are never sure what to expect when you start something new like this treatment but even DR. Difiore has been quite amazed at how well Daddy has done. At his 2 week check up the Dr.commented on his weight and how he hadn't lost as much as he thought he may have, also his platelets were up and he is not anemic, all Great Signs. Now we understand that as this treatment continues, and they will for several months, side effect may increase, change or somehow new ones may feel like somehow they received a formal invitation to just show on up, however Our Family believes in Daddy's ability to battle, and also in the Faith offered up by so many through Prayers, Fasting and many other personal and appreciated ways. Thank You to all who think of him and wish him well often and Thank You to all who also think of our Dear Mother and Wish her well just as often. We can't imagine how she to must feel in this dark chaotic situation, I am sure her emotions defy description or explanation, yet there She is, as always, right by his side. She does absolutely everything she can to make sure he has what he needs. We are talking daily agendas typed up and placed where Daddy can follow his schedule of times to eat, exercise and take his medications, Charts of each Dr. Visit and results from all his blood tests to track trends and improvements, (this is real by the way, and she presented it to the Dr. once who was very impressed by it)
She also encourages him, Loves him, and gives him a reason to fight the BEST he can. I am certain, in fact I have heard from his own lips, he "Couldn't Make It Without Her." He knows it and our Family Knows it. As much as We all Love our Father, we know and understand that it is our Mother who makes him the Man he is, and we love Her just as much as we love him. We hope and pray for her daily, She is as solid as a ROCK, our Families Foundation. She may tell you otherwise, but she has the Greatest Strength and the Greatest Faith we have ever seen exercised, and Daddy needs that, even more our Family needs it. So into Round Two on the Folfirinox we go and I guess all we can do is walk into tomorrow and hope that at the end of the day there was something that made us laugh and somehow, just as Mom does every day, we were able to make a difference for someone else....