"I am My Father's Daughter!"

One of the greatest honors of my life has been and will always simply be, being "My Father's Daughter."  I feel this role has been a purposeful one for me. It has given me ambition, determination and caused me to have the desire to be a better individual because of the example set for me by my Mother and Father. I would not want either of them to leave this life without knowing that I am so very proud and so very grateful, to be their Daughter!

As My Father's Daughter, I have learned a lot and growing up I always had a Best Friend. Daddy was the person I wanted to spend all my time with and apparently I was pretty adamant about making that point right from the start, as I have shared before, I was born on Father's Day! Maybe it was this that created such a close connection between Daddy and I but we did everything together, or at least in my mind we did. Some of my earliest and fondest memories are of Daddy teaching me to read and emphasizing what he often described as "reading with feeling!" This is where Daddy's passion for creativity and "make believe" were passed on to me; it was a world made up of your greatest imaginations and I loved it! I also remember Daddy helping me prepare for my first talk to be given in church. I do not remember the subject of which I was to speak but what I do remember is him sitting on the couch with his wristwatch, that always seemed to beep at the most inopportune moments, timing me as he made me stand on the fireplace and rehearse, over and over again. If it was a 10 minute talk I needed to make it 10 minutes exactly and I needed to memorized it as well because as Daddy would say "you never want to look down at your paper for more than a brief moment or you will lose every one's attention; people get bored!" If you have ever heard Daddy speak or share a story you understand his natural ability to amuse and captivate an audience, something I can only hope to one day accomplish as natural as he does. Even now as an adult when I am preparing to speak in front of a large group for any reason, I find myself often reflecting back on the advice that was given to me back then when as a young girl I was preparing for what I am sure, was only a 2-3 minute talk to be given in Primary. Big or small it didn't matter, Daddy made sure to never miss an opportunity where he could influence or teach me something he found to be important, even if it was something most daughters' might call crazy.

There are many example's I can give here and I loved them all, learning how to catch and clean a fish, throw, shoot, kick, or dribble a ball. How to hunt, or not to hunt...Catch lizards, snakes and frogs, drive ATV's or find worms for fishing bait (this mostly involved trespassing onto my grandparents property as well as their neighbors in the middle of the night and cleaning out their gardens!) But one lesson that stands out to me as possibly strange or even a little unusual to teach a girl was the stressed importance of having a firm handshake. Daddy would make me practice again and again until he felt I had perfected this. The impression and confidence that can be found when shaking someone's hand was not something I understood until much later in life when as an adult I would often be complimented on this and I would always laugh and respond by simply saying, "for some reason it was something my Father thought important enough to teach me."

Being my Father's Daughter has always been the best because no matter what the situation I always had someone egging me on, or cheering me on, depending of course on the circumstance. As I went  into the fourth grade I signed up to play on my first Jr. Jazz Team. I was really excited about this because I knew Daddy was going to love it and he did! From then on he did everything he could to come to my games and  not only my Jr.Jazz games but all the way through my sophomore year playing as a Beetdigger, which was a big deal for Daddy!

Attending Jordan High School was a way to represent tradition in our Family and being a Beetdigger, was definitely tradition, at least on Daddy's side of the family. I believe I may have experienced what most people would define as "Hazing" as my Father forced me to eat an actual Beet, sorry but disgusting, and also memorize the Lyrics to the School's Song, all before I was ever even a Freshman! So it shouldn't have been any surprise to me when I was benched my sophomore year because of Daddy's "cheering," at my games. "Cheering by the way was in all reality actually him yelling and screaming,  although...he never was kicked out of any of my games and he never offered to trade any of the referees places during any of my games either, so I guess maybe he took it a little easier on me than he did Chris, but one thing we knew was that Daddy was Proud and excited for us and also, maybe living a little vicariously through us as well!

Daddy also taught me to drive a car well before I was 16. I thought this was awesome until I drove Daddy's Truck up over our mailbox, but then as Daddy came out of the house laughing I learned a very valuable lesson in life, Don't sweat the small stuff!" He re-enforced this point on several other occasions as well, like when I attached his other truck to the side a semi when I was 16 or even when I pushed him right through the kitchen window on Easter Morning...laughing on both of these occasions as well, Mom not so much, he reminded me once again, not to sweat the small stuff in life, if it's broken it can be fixed, generally!

Daddy was a lot of fun and enjoying life was essential but one lesson I will never forget that solidified Daddy in his role as a Father and gave me a sense of importance as his Daughter was the night of my "End of the Year Dance Recital"  (yep I took dance, 12 years of it in fact...surprise!). This night there happened to also be a BYU game on, a BIG Game at that, and if there was ever anything more important than being a "Beetdigger" it was cheering for the Cougars! I actually couldn't blame him,  who would I be kidding if I didn't admit that being at home watching the game with Daddy is exactly where I would rather have been as well. However what I got out of that night was far more important than a football game. I remember coming out for one of my last performances of the night and wishing so badly that he was there, understand please that as a "Daddy's Girl" your Father's undivided attention becomes a very necessary part of life! I will never forget the overwhelming emotion of happiness that I experienced as I looked out into the audience and saw my Father's Face in the crowd. As his daughter I learned one of the greatest lessons Daddy could ever have impressed upon me and that is the importance, regardless of personal interests, to support those you love and care about because they matter, and more importantly I learned how you do that and that is simply, by being present. Daddy always made a tremendous effort to be present in all of our lives, and I can say there was never a time I had to wonder where he was. I knew if he could be there, he would be and as his Daughter I knew that night and forever moving forward that I was not only valued and important to Daddy but I mattered to him.

As I grew older I began to better understand the responsibilities found in my role as, My Father's Daughter. I went from seeking my Father's attention through any means possible to seeking out opportunities in life to make him proud. I began to recognize that my choices and decisions were a direct reflection of my Father and what he had worked so hard to instill in me throughout my life. So I made sure to be as kind as I could to everyone, because as his daughter he was so kind to me. I did what I could love others, accepting them for who they are and what is written within their hearts because this, is exactly what Daddy had done for me. As a pigtailed, tomboy of a little girl he accepted me and adored me, helping me to recognize that who I was, is exactly who I am supposed to be. Some people called it unique, some people called it different, but Daddy always just called it awesome! I continue to strive and go out of my way to find opportunities to help and serve others as I have seen him do so many times as his Daughter. I began making decisions in my life that I knew would compliment his accomplishments and efforts as a Father.

In the situation we find ourselves in now, where there has been opportunity to outwardly show and express my love and gratitude for my Father, I have tried to do so. I have tried to be the type of individual and Daughter he has raised me to be, by caring for him in whatever way I have been able to. Whether that was sitting by his side during chemo treatments and Doctor's Appointments, golfing or laughing with him through books and stories we were reading together or songs we were singing. It has been nothing short of my privilege and my pleasure, to be present and able at this time to love, care for, serve and support him as best I can. Humbling, is not a profound enough word to express the gratitude I have for such an opportunity to do nothing more than what I was taught to do, very simply, because I am My Father's Daughter!

 

"The Powerful Knowledge of Purpose"

 

As I began this post a few days ago my Father was lying next to me in a hospital bed, suffering from an infection that is now subsiding. We were in a corner room on the ninth floor of IMC Medical Center with a window that looks out over the city. It was late as I began recording my thoughts and well after midnight. I could see the twinkling lights lining state street and in the distance I could faintly see the capital building downtown; it was beautiful. I remember looking at him and finding myself in absolute awe of the amazing individual he is and it was then that I began contemplating the gift time has given us, and the gift of time, which I believe a higher power has blessed us with. I began thinking of all that he has been through and all he has been able to experience and I was and still am very grateful for how well he has done and the opportunity he has had to feel joy and happiness, especially through events these past few weeks. His Birthday party was a surprise for him and something he very much enjoyed was being able to see so many of his Family and Friends. Well over 200 of you came to show your love and support and to honor him for his heroic efforts displayed this past year. The outpouring of love from you all is a gift of hope for Daddy and a rewarding accomplishment to know he has been able to make a difference in the lives of so many, something he often does but  never acknowledges.  Thank You for taking the time to come and wish him well and share your stories of influence with him. I am so grateful he had the opportunity to see so many of those who love and adore him. As I continued to watch Daddy that night, I did my best to remind myself not to be sad about the circumstance but to recognize the tremendous effort Daddy has put into not only fighting over this past year but also for always making a never-ending effort to be memorable in my life. Daddy always went out of his way to create memories with each of us kids. He and Jared Hunted, Chris and Dad's bond was Sports, Mindie makes him laugh and they bond over church history. Sarah is what I call Daddy's token. She is everything sweet and nice to Daddy and they bond as he watches and adores her being a Mother. Daddy and I always bonded over story-telling, basketball, being myself and "The Beatles," one of the greatest gifts he has ever given to me! 

This past weekend Daddy was well enough to attend a concert Mom had surprised him with to tickets to for Father's Day; my husband and I were able to attend with them. For me this show was the ultimate, "The Beatles" with Daddy!!!! It was a big deal and certainly very reminiscent of my childhood, never forgetting sitting on Daddy's Lap singing "Beatles" songs. At a time in my life when it is so easy to experience such sadness and it feels like your heart is very slowly breaking, moments like these are a Godsend, and I recognize that, so I would be remiss if I sat here now and was not grateful for something so simple, as a Beatles Cover Band! Daddy is someone who has lived his life in such a way that he has always allowed his actions to influence and inspire others. He has loved them, reached out to them, cared for them and been their friend. As his children he raised us with kindness, and taught us many things along the way, for me it was the ability to discern right from wrong and to always trust my instincts. To believe in myself and my abilities to accomplish and achieve whatever I want to, and to never ever be afraid to be myself. No matter how different that may turn out to be, if nothing else I would always be unique.  Because of my Father I believe I have a purpose, I believe I have the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of others, to influence and inspire them, hopefully in a way that Daddy has; I believe that there is great joy to be found in this. Daddy has taught me since I was young that life is meant to be lived, every moment of it, and that applies now especially. The only way we have been enduring and fighting through this entire experience is because of Daddy and his example as well as everything he and our sweet Mother both have taught us, our entire lives. For us as a family when we found out about Daddy's diagnosis we were devastated, more like crippled or temporarily frozen in time. The emotions and moments you witness and experience are painful but because we had been prepared by our parents I do believe that our reaction to those circumstances and the choices and decisions that needed to made were a little more clear because we had been given a foundation and a direction in which we knew to turn, for confirmation, validation, comfort and guidance. Without knowing it Daddy has been preparing himself and our Family for the challenges of this past year his entire life. He wasn't just diagnosed on day and decided to become a faithful, hopeful and a positively inspiring man the next, he has lived this way for 64 years.

As I am here with Daddy tonight, having been released from the hospital and at home, I realize that it has been challenging and it may seem difficult at times as we face fears, illness and loss, but if we do not continue to recognize the opportunity of the day, we have wasted a precious gift; if I do not recognize and live as Daddy has taught me to then moments like tonight are not just Sad, they are hopeless, overwhelming and meaningless, but if I choose to remember what is most important to Daddy and what he has taught me, the example he has been for me and for others, then it makes it easier to sit here next to him now and know why and how he has made it this far. Why he has fought so hard. How he has endured so much and continued to serve, laugh, and live through the minutes of each day, still creating memories to leave us with. Daddy has accomplished something far greater than enduring the helplessness of disease. He prepared himself so when he was forced to face the horrendous reality of Cancer he already knew he had won because he came into that fight with the powerful knowledge of purpose. Daddy knows and understands that his life has meaning, he believes that if he is still here there is a reason, even if it is very simply for his Daughter to recognize the gift and potential of her own existence because of the love and dedication given to her, by her Father, through his.

(A Special Thanks to Dave and Kay Phillips for being gracious enough and kind enough to take so many awesome photographs at Daddy's Party. We are very grateful)