"The Powerful Knowledge of Purpose"

 

As I began this post a few days ago my Father was lying next to me in a hospital bed, suffering from an infection that is now subsiding. We were in a corner room on the ninth floor of IMC Medical Center with a window that looks out over the city. It was late as I began recording my thoughts and well after midnight. I could see the twinkling lights lining state street and in the distance I could faintly see the capital building downtown; it was beautiful. I remember looking at him and finding myself in absolute awe of the amazing individual he is and it was then that I began contemplating the gift time has given us, and the gift of time, which I believe a higher power has blessed us with. I began thinking of all that he has been through and all he has been able to experience and I was and still am very grateful for how well he has done and the opportunity he has had to feel joy and happiness, especially through events these past few weeks. His Birthday party was a surprise for him and something he very much enjoyed was being able to see so many of his Family and Friends. Well over 200 of you came to show your love and support and to honor him for his heroic efforts displayed this past year. The outpouring of love from you all is a gift of hope for Daddy and a rewarding accomplishment to know he has been able to make a difference in the lives of so many, something he often does but  never acknowledges.  Thank You for taking the time to come and wish him well and share your stories of influence with him. I am so grateful he had the opportunity to see so many of those who love and adore him. As I continued to watch Daddy that night, I did my best to remind myself not to be sad about the circumstance but to recognize the tremendous effort Daddy has put into not only fighting over this past year but also for always making a never-ending effort to be memorable in my life. Daddy always went out of his way to create memories with each of us kids. He and Jared Hunted, Chris and Dad's bond was Sports, Mindie makes him laugh and they bond over church history. Sarah is what I call Daddy's token. She is everything sweet and nice to Daddy and they bond as he watches and adores her being a Mother. Daddy and I always bonded over story-telling, basketball, being myself and "The Beatles," one of the greatest gifts he has ever given to me! 

This past weekend Daddy was well enough to attend a concert Mom had surprised him with to tickets to for Father's Day; my husband and I were able to attend with them. For me this show was the ultimate, "The Beatles" with Daddy!!!! It was a big deal and certainly very reminiscent of my childhood, never forgetting sitting on Daddy's Lap singing "Beatles" songs. At a time in my life when it is so easy to experience such sadness and it feels like your heart is very slowly breaking, moments like these are a Godsend, and I recognize that, so I would be remiss if I sat here now and was not grateful for something so simple, as a Beatles Cover Band! Daddy is someone who has lived his life in such a way that he has always allowed his actions to influence and inspire others. He has loved them, reached out to them, cared for them and been their friend. As his children he raised us with kindness, and taught us many things along the way, for me it was the ability to discern right from wrong and to always trust my instincts. To believe in myself and my abilities to accomplish and achieve whatever I want to, and to never ever be afraid to be myself. No matter how different that may turn out to be, if nothing else I would always be unique.  Because of my Father I believe I have a purpose, I believe I have the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of others, to influence and inspire them, hopefully in a way that Daddy has; I believe that there is great joy to be found in this. Daddy has taught me since I was young that life is meant to be lived, every moment of it, and that applies now especially. The only way we have been enduring and fighting through this entire experience is because of Daddy and his example as well as everything he and our sweet Mother both have taught us, our entire lives. For us as a family when we found out about Daddy's diagnosis we were devastated, more like crippled or temporarily frozen in time. The emotions and moments you witness and experience are painful but because we had been prepared by our parents I do believe that our reaction to those circumstances and the choices and decisions that needed to made were a little more clear because we had been given a foundation and a direction in which we knew to turn, for confirmation, validation, comfort and guidance. Without knowing it Daddy has been preparing himself and our Family for the challenges of this past year his entire life. He wasn't just diagnosed on day and decided to become a faithful, hopeful and a positively inspiring man the next, he has lived this way for 64 years.

As I am here with Daddy tonight, having been released from the hospital and at home, I realize that it has been challenging and it may seem difficult at times as we face fears, illness and loss, but if we do not continue to recognize the opportunity of the day, we have wasted a precious gift; if I do not recognize and live as Daddy has taught me to then moments like tonight are not just Sad, they are hopeless, overwhelming and meaningless, but if I choose to remember what is most important to Daddy and what he has taught me, the example he has been for me and for others, then it makes it easier to sit here next to him now and know why and how he has made it this far. Why he has fought so hard. How he has endured so much and continued to serve, laugh, and live through the minutes of each day, still creating memories to leave us with. Daddy has accomplished something far greater than enduring the helplessness of disease. He prepared himself so when he was forced to face the horrendous reality of Cancer he already knew he had won because he came into that fight with the powerful knowledge of purpose. Daddy knows and understands that his life has meaning, he believes that if he is still here there is a reason, even if it is very simply for his Daughter to recognize the gift and potential of her own existence because of the love and dedication given to her, by her Father, through his.

(A Special Thanks to Dave and Kay Phillips for being gracious enough and kind enough to take so many awesome photographs at Daddy's Party. We are very grateful)