My Version ~ "Finding Neverland"

 ~CRAIG J. WINTLE~ 1949-2013                 On December 14, 2013 Craig J. Wintle, everyone's favorite "Trash Kicking Crusader" put Cancer in its place; leaving this earthly world after a 14 month Epic Battle with something called, Pancreatic Cancer. Craig wants everyone to know that the choice to move beyond the veil was the most difficult decision he has had to make during this entire journey; it was not because he "Gave up," nor was it an acknowledgment of defeat, it was instead a sacrifice and it took an insurmountable amount of Strength, Courage and Faith for him to move on and into a magical place, where time doesn't exist and dreams always come true; some call it "Heaven," some call it, "The Spirit in the Sky," Peter Pan simply called it, "NEVERLAND." Craig was born on October 30, 1949 in Salt Lake City, Utah, a Halloween Baby, and for 63 years of his life it was assumed that naturally this would be his favorite holiday...well, we were all wrong; he HATED it! According to his account, as a child he dressed as Zorro for 10 consecutive years in a row until he finally figured out all he needed was an eye patch and WA-LA, he was a Pirate for the next 4. His last Halloween costume was a Ghost T-shirt, I guess you could now call that fitting! Craig's home turf was Sandy, UT where he grew up and was the "Dennis the Menace" of his time. His side-kick and "blood brother" for life was his very best friend, Vaughn Hughes. Together they definitely tormented their neighborhood. Armed with BB Guns, Cherry Bombs and slingshots everyone knew who they were, even the people of Union Pacific Railroad; turns out putting grease on a railroad track not only prevents a train from gaining traction but it also is reason enough for local authorities to be called out! Craig later attended Jordan High School, graduating in 1968 during a totally "Righteous" era known as "Beatlemania!!!" Craig was a "Beatles" Fanatic and did all he could to copy their image, only problem was his hair was super thick and wavy (nicknamed Malibu because of it) so in order to achieve the infamous "Beatles Haircut" he and his friend went to the local beauty supply shop and got themselves some hair relaxer...when that didn't work he returned the bottle to the shop without a receipt and against it's walls shattering the bottle with his dreams. Later that year he decided to clean up his act, putting away his slingshot and dry ice bombs he decided to serve a 2yr LDS Mission. He was very excited to be called to the land of "misfits and criminals," serving in the "Australia South Mission." Craig brought a lot of American Culture to his "Mates" down under through his many pranks and sense of humor. He also found out very quickly that kangaroos are not meant to be ridden and Koala bears are not so cute and cuddly. In 1971 Craig met a Beautiful "Little Blonde" as he often referred to her, and they began to "go steady." Their courtship lasted about a year before surprisingly on Christmas Eve of 1971 he got up enough courage to ask her if she would be his Bride. Even after all the nights of Penny Anny and him stealing her money to take out other girls, she said YES! On March 17, 1972 they were sealed for time and all eternity in the Salt Lake, LDS Temple and he went all out planning a dream vacation to the exotic location of... Tijuana, Mexico!!! He also reserved only the best for his new bride and on their wedding night he booked the "Honeymoon Suite" at the magical "Majestic Rockies Hotel!" This establishment still stands today on State Street in Sandy, I think at the request of the city, due to its many building code violations, it has even been remodeled several times since then; Way To Go Craiger!!!! Craig was a hard worker and gained experience in many different backgrounds, Kennecott, counter tops and sheet metal for several years. All of this knowledge he was somehow able to implement in his home life. For example... no one else had an early 1980's Brown and White 12 Seater Ford Van with a silver sheet metal fender welded to the front of it...so I guess you could say that also made him quite innovative! However it was with the US Postal Service where he found his real calling in life and after 27 years of never figuring out the emergency brake on his mail jeep, he retired from the Post Office, where he always brought the people of Lehi much more than simply just their mail. He brought them things like their neighbors Garbage cans, a Christmas Tree he once drug a few streets over and he even assisted in the remodeling of the outside of a few homes and businesses! His passions in life included the outdoors where he was often quoted as saying "We aren't lost...We just don't know where we are!" He loved camping but if he was pulling a trailer you never wanted to ride with "Uncle Wiggly" because somehow it became tradition for him to lose his brakes! Craig was also a fisherman and loved playing games with his family, which always came with a new set of rules to play by...and they always benefited you know who. Craig had a great Imagination and a knack for story-telling. Often he would read to you the classic and timeless tales found within the walls of his creatively fictitious mind. These stories often included "Silver Bullets" "Headless Horseman" "Haunted Houses" and of course one of our favorites ,"The Man With No Legs!" All of his stories came with a moral or some sort of lesson, for example "Run faster than your Friends and you'll never get caught!" Sports was always a big deal as well but this consisted mostly of watching and yelling and screaming at the officials so much even they wanted to give-up because of course, another one of his passions was...officiating! He became very good at learning to ignore verbal assaults and also dodging old lady purses. Craig also loved everything BYU and regardless of the LDS churches affiliation with this institution they never found out about his "Missionaries of the Lost Ark" situation in Australia, when he tried to convince his mission president that, "two other missionaries hadn't just disappeared, they had been "translated!" And so the good people of Brigham Young University continued to allow him to "Rise and Shout!" anytime the Cougars were out! Although Craig's hopes of becoming a "Beatle "had been thwarted by his luscious locks, He still loved there music. Some of his favorites were, "I Wanna Hold your Hand," "Eleanor Rigby" and "Why Don't We Do It in the Road," which he would never publicly admit to because he said "it's not a nice song..." Surprise Daddy, you have been outed!!! His gifts which he will be most remembered for are, his smile, which usually was found behind some sort of sarcasm, his imagination, which was beautiful, brilliant and sometimes a little messed up, his quick and very witty sense of humor that kept everyone around him laughing and of course his trademark catchphrase, "That's, What I'm Talking About," a favorite among his grandchildren. "Papa" "Grandpa Craig" or "Pops" were all among his proudest titles and whether he was eating grass, climbing trees, chasing down wild turtles or asking about their "Tinki-Winkis" he was involved and creating lasting memories with them and for them to have forever. His greatest love and accomplishment in this life was definitely being Grandfather; he whole-heartedly loved and adored each one of those kids. Craig held many different callings within the LDS Church and his love and testimony for the Gospel of Jesus Christ was always very evident, touching the hearts of many as he tirelessly served them. Craig had a special Spirit about him and whether he was in the Scouting Program, The YM Presidency, Elders Quorum, High Council or The Bishopric you loved him and felt his strength; unless of course you were the kid who got hit in the head with a soda can and ended up needing stitches, or you were part of the group that attempted to cross the freezing cold waters of Shoshone Lake 3 years in a row and never made it because the canoes always leaked. If you were in either of those groups, you may not have thought it was that much fun, however he still gave you something to remember! Currently he was serving as the 1st Counselor in the Crescent Ninth Ward Bishopric where his example and natural ability to love and serve others was not only an inspiration but has become his legacy. Fighting each week to attend sacrament meeting and take his place on the stand was divine, using that opportunity to smile and pull faces at his Family was hilarious, priceless and totally him!  Recently, in front of a congregation of people he admired and adored he was quoted as saying..."I Love Life" and he did. The rest of us can all take note of that passion and do the same! Fight for all you have; Never Give-Up Hope, Faithfully and Diligently serve those around you and remember, our purpose is always so much more fulfilling when we are having fun while doing it; after all

 "Life is not a Timeline...It is a Divine Plan;" Enjoy it!

"You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I will always love you... That's where I will be waiting..."
                     J.M. Barrie ~ Peter Pan

 

"Traditional, Because I Love My Mom-"

                                         Craig J. Wintle

                                       October 30, 1949-December 14, 1013

On December 14, 2013 after a courageous 14 month battle with Pancreatic Cancer, Craig J. Wintle, everyone's favorite "Crusader," won the fight and peacefully returned back into the loving arms of his Heavenly Father. Craig was born on October 30, 1949 in Salt Lake City, Utah. He grew up in Sandy and attended Jordan High School. In 1968 he faithfully served a 2yr LDS Mission in the 'Australia South Mission." On March 17, 1972 he made the most essential decision of his mortal existence and married his "Little Blonde" and "Eternal Sweetheart," Pamela Bagley Wintle, in the Salt Lake, LDS Temple. After 27 years of never figuring out the emergency break in his mail jeep, Craig retired from the US Postal Service, where he brought the people of Lehi much more than simply just their mail. His passions in life included the outdoors, camping, fishing and playing games with his family; church history, story-telling, sports, officiating, everything BYU and  "The Beatles!" His gifts which he will be most remembered for are, his smile, his imagination, his quick and very witty sense of humor and of course his trademark catchphrase, "That's what I'm talking about!" His greatest accomplishment in this life was his family, specifically his grandchildren, all of whom he whole-heartedly loved and adored. Craig held many different callings within the LDS Church and his love and testimony for the Gospel of Jesus Christ was always very evident touching the hearts of many as he tirelessly served them. Currently he was serving as the 1st Counselor in the Crescent Ninth Ward Bishopric where his example and natural ability to love and serve others was not only an inspiration but has become his legacy.
He is preceded in death by his Father, Arlo Ellis Wintle and Granddaughter, Cassidy Olivia Wintle. Survived by his Wife Pamela Bagley Wintle, Sandy. Children: Jared (Bridget) Wintle, Mindie (Jeremy) Beasley, Christopher (Megan)Wintle, Rebecca (Rob) Marsh, Sarah (Trevor) Merrill and 16 Grandchildren. His Mother, Beverly Wintle. Sisters Linda(Larry) Moss, Colleen Morgan and Brother Steven (Jill) Wintle.
Funeral Services will be held at 11:00am Saturday December 21, 2013 at the LDS Leilani Ward Building, 10375 S Leilani Drive. Sandy, UT. A viewing will be held Friday December 20, 2013 from 6:00-8:00pm at Larkin Sunset Gardens, 1950 East Dimple Dell Rd. (10600 S) Sandy, UT and from 9:30-10:30am at the Leilani Ward Building prior to Funeral Services. Condolences may be recorded at www.larkincares.org website.
It is with a very Grateful heart that we would like to thank the Utah Cancer Center and CNS Hospice- especially Kathy, Michelle and John for their kind, loving and compassionate care.


This is My Father's Tribute, very respectful and traditional because I love my Mom.
Stay Tuned for My Version.....

"I am My Father's Daughter!"

One of the greatest honors of my life has been and will always simply be, being "My Father's Daughter."  I feel this role has been a purposeful one for me. It has given me ambition, determination and caused me to have the desire to be a better individual because of the example set for me by my Mother and Father. I would not want either of them to leave this life without knowing that I am so very proud and so very grateful, to be their Daughter!

As My Father's Daughter, I have learned a lot and growing up I always had a Best Friend. Daddy was the person I wanted to spend all my time with and apparently I was pretty adamant about making that point right from the start, as I have shared before, I was born on Father's Day! Maybe it was this that created such a close connection between Daddy and I but we did everything together, or at least in my mind we did. Some of my earliest and fondest memories are of Daddy teaching me to read and emphasizing what he often described as "reading with feeling!" This is where Daddy's passion for creativity and "make believe" were passed on to me; it was a world made up of your greatest imaginations and I loved it! I also remember Daddy helping me prepare for my first talk to be given in church. I do not remember the subject of which I was to speak but what I do remember is him sitting on the couch with his wristwatch, that always seemed to beep at the most inopportune moments, timing me as he made me stand on the fireplace and rehearse, over and over again. If it was a 10 minute talk I needed to make it 10 minutes exactly and I needed to memorized it as well because as Daddy would say "you never want to look down at your paper for more than a brief moment or you will lose every one's attention; people get bored!" If you have ever heard Daddy speak or share a story you understand his natural ability to amuse and captivate an audience, something I can only hope to one day accomplish as natural as he does. Even now as an adult when I am preparing to speak in front of a large group for any reason, I find myself often reflecting back on the advice that was given to me back then when as a young girl I was preparing for what I am sure, was only a 2-3 minute talk to be given in Primary. Big or small it didn't matter, Daddy made sure to never miss an opportunity where he could influence or teach me something he found to be important, even if it was something most daughters' might call crazy.

There are many example's I can give here and I loved them all, learning how to catch and clean a fish, throw, shoot, kick, or dribble a ball. How to hunt, or not to hunt...Catch lizards, snakes and frogs, drive ATV's or find worms for fishing bait (this mostly involved trespassing onto my grandparents property as well as their neighbors in the middle of the night and cleaning out their gardens!) But one lesson that stands out to me as possibly strange or even a little unusual to teach a girl was the stressed importance of having a firm handshake. Daddy would make me practice again and again until he felt I had perfected this. The impression and confidence that can be found when shaking someone's hand was not something I understood until much later in life when as an adult I would often be complimented on this and I would always laugh and respond by simply saying, "for some reason it was something my Father thought important enough to teach me."

Being my Father's Daughter has always been the best because no matter what the situation I always had someone egging me on, or cheering me on, depending of course on the circumstance. As I went  into the fourth grade I signed up to play on my first Jr. Jazz Team. I was really excited about this because I knew Daddy was going to love it and he did! From then on he did everything he could to come to my games and  not only my Jr.Jazz games but all the way through my sophomore year playing as a Beetdigger, which was a big deal for Daddy!

Attending Jordan High School was a way to represent tradition in our Family and being a Beetdigger, was definitely tradition, at least on Daddy's side of the family. I believe I may have experienced what most people would define as "Hazing" as my Father forced me to eat an actual Beet, sorry but disgusting, and also memorize the Lyrics to the School's Song, all before I was ever even a Freshman! So it shouldn't have been any surprise to me when I was benched my sophomore year because of Daddy's "cheering," at my games. "Cheering by the way was in all reality actually him yelling and screaming,  although...he never was kicked out of any of my games and he never offered to trade any of the referees places during any of my games either, so I guess maybe he took it a little easier on me than he did Chris, but one thing we knew was that Daddy was Proud and excited for us and also, maybe living a little vicariously through us as well!

Daddy also taught me to drive a car well before I was 16. I thought this was awesome until I drove Daddy's Truck up over our mailbox, but then as Daddy came out of the house laughing I learned a very valuable lesson in life, Don't sweat the small stuff!" He re-enforced this point on several other occasions as well, like when I attached his other truck to the side a semi when I was 16 or even when I pushed him right through the kitchen window on Easter Morning...laughing on both of these occasions as well, Mom not so much, he reminded me once again, not to sweat the small stuff in life, if it's broken it can be fixed, generally!

Daddy was a lot of fun and enjoying life was essential but one lesson I will never forget that solidified Daddy in his role as a Father and gave me a sense of importance as his Daughter was the night of my "End of the Year Dance Recital"  (yep I took dance, 12 years of it in fact...surprise!). This night there happened to also be a BYU game on, a BIG Game at that, and if there was ever anything more important than being a "Beetdigger" it was cheering for the Cougars! I actually couldn't blame him,  who would I be kidding if I didn't admit that being at home watching the game with Daddy is exactly where I would rather have been as well. However what I got out of that night was far more important than a football game. I remember coming out for one of my last performances of the night and wishing so badly that he was there, understand please that as a "Daddy's Girl" your Father's undivided attention becomes a very necessary part of life! I will never forget the overwhelming emotion of happiness that I experienced as I looked out into the audience and saw my Father's Face in the crowd. As his daughter I learned one of the greatest lessons Daddy could ever have impressed upon me and that is the importance, regardless of personal interests, to support those you love and care about because they matter, and more importantly I learned how you do that and that is simply, by being present. Daddy always made a tremendous effort to be present in all of our lives, and I can say there was never a time I had to wonder where he was. I knew if he could be there, he would be and as his Daughter I knew that night and forever moving forward that I was not only valued and important to Daddy but I mattered to him.

As I grew older I began to better understand the responsibilities found in my role as, My Father's Daughter. I went from seeking my Father's attention through any means possible to seeking out opportunities in life to make him proud. I began to recognize that my choices and decisions were a direct reflection of my Father and what he had worked so hard to instill in me throughout my life. So I made sure to be as kind as I could to everyone, because as his daughter he was so kind to me. I did what I could love others, accepting them for who they are and what is written within their hearts because this, is exactly what Daddy had done for me. As a pigtailed, tomboy of a little girl he accepted me and adored me, helping me to recognize that who I was, is exactly who I am supposed to be. Some people called it unique, some people called it different, but Daddy always just called it awesome! I continue to strive and go out of my way to find opportunities to help and serve others as I have seen him do so many times as his Daughter. I began making decisions in my life that I knew would compliment his accomplishments and efforts as a Father.

In the situation we find ourselves in now, where there has been opportunity to outwardly show and express my love and gratitude for my Father, I have tried to do so. I have tried to be the type of individual and Daughter he has raised me to be, by caring for him in whatever way I have been able to. Whether that was sitting by his side during chemo treatments and Doctor's Appointments, golfing or laughing with him through books and stories we were reading together or songs we were singing. It has been nothing short of my privilege and my pleasure, to be present and able at this time to love, care for, serve and support him as best I can. Humbling, is not a profound enough word to express the gratitude I have for such an opportunity to do nothing more than what I was taught to do, very simply, because I am My Father's Daughter!

 

"The Powerful Knowledge of Purpose"

 

As I began this post a few days ago my Father was lying next to me in a hospital bed, suffering from an infection that is now subsiding. We were in a corner room on the ninth floor of IMC Medical Center with a window that looks out over the city. It was late as I began recording my thoughts and well after midnight. I could see the twinkling lights lining state street and in the distance I could faintly see the capital building downtown; it was beautiful. I remember looking at him and finding myself in absolute awe of the amazing individual he is and it was then that I began contemplating the gift time has given us, and the gift of time, which I believe a higher power has blessed us with. I began thinking of all that he has been through and all he has been able to experience and I was and still am very grateful for how well he has done and the opportunity he has had to feel joy and happiness, especially through events these past few weeks. His Birthday party was a surprise for him and something he very much enjoyed was being able to see so many of his Family and Friends. Well over 200 of you came to show your love and support and to honor him for his heroic efforts displayed this past year. The outpouring of love from you all is a gift of hope for Daddy and a rewarding accomplishment to know he has been able to make a difference in the lives of so many, something he often does but  never acknowledges.  Thank You for taking the time to come and wish him well and share your stories of influence with him. I am so grateful he had the opportunity to see so many of those who love and adore him. As I continued to watch Daddy that night, I did my best to remind myself not to be sad about the circumstance but to recognize the tremendous effort Daddy has put into not only fighting over this past year but also for always making a never-ending effort to be memorable in my life. Daddy always went out of his way to create memories with each of us kids. He and Jared Hunted, Chris and Dad's bond was Sports, Mindie makes him laugh and they bond over church history. Sarah is what I call Daddy's token. She is everything sweet and nice to Daddy and they bond as he watches and adores her being a Mother. Daddy and I always bonded over story-telling, basketball, being myself and "The Beatles," one of the greatest gifts he has ever given to me! 

This past weekend Daddy was well enough to attend a concert Mom had surprised him with to tickets to for Father's Day; my husband and I were able to attend with them. For me this show was the ultimate, "The Beatles" with Daddy!!!! It was a big deal and certainly very reminiscent of my childhood, never forgetting sitting on Daddy's Lap singing "Beatles" songs. At a time in my life when it is so easy to experience such sadness and it feels like your heart is very slowly breaking, moments like these are a Godsend, and I recognize that, so I would be remiss if I sat here now and was not grateful for something so simple, as a Beatles Cover Band! Daddy is someone who has lived his life in such a way that he has always allowed his actions to influence and inspire others. He has loved them, reached out to them, cared for them and been their friend. As his children he raised us with kindness, and taught us many things along the way, for me it was the ability to discern right from wrong and to always trust my instincts. To believe in myself and my abilities to accomplish and achieve whatever I want to, and to never ever be afraid to be myself. No matter how different that may turn out to be, if nothing else I would always be unique.  Because of my Father I believe I have a purpose, I believe I have the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of others, to influence and inspire them, hopefully in a way that Daddy has; I believe that there is great joy to be found in this. Daddy has taught me since I was young that life is meant to be lived, every moment of it, and that applies now especially. The only way we have been enduring and fighting through this entire experience is because of Daddy and his example as well as everything he and our sweet Mother both have taught us, our entire lives. For us as a family when we found out about Daddy's diagnosis we were devastated, more like crippled or temporarily frozen in time. The emotions and moments you witness and experience are painful but because we had been prepared by our parents I do believe that our reaction to those circumstances and the choices and decisions that needed to made were a little more clear because we had been given a foundation and a direction in which we knew to turn, for confirmation, validation, comfort and guidance. Without knowing it Daddy has been preparing himself and our Family for the challenges of this past year his entire life. He wasn't just diagnosed on day and decided to become a faithful, hopeful and a positively inspiring man the next, he has lived this way for 64 years.

As I am here with Daddy tonight, having been released from the hospital and at home, I realize that it has been challenging and it may seem difficult at times as we face fears, illness and loss, but if we do not continue to recognize the opportunity of the day, we have wasted a precious gift; if I do not recognize and live as Daddy has taught me to then moments like tonight are not just Sad, they are hopeless, overwhelming and meaningless, but if I choose to remember what is most important to Daddy and what he has taught me, the example he has been for me and for others, then it makes it easier to sit here next to him now and know why and how he has made it this far. Why he has fought so hard. How he has endured so much and continued to serve, laugh, and live through the minutes of each day, still creating memories to leave us with. Daddy has accomplished something far greater than enduring the helplessness of disease. He prepared himself so when he was forced to face the horrendous reality of Cancer he already knew he had won because he came into that fight with the powerful knowledge of purpose. Daddy knows and understands that his life has meaning, he believes that if he is still here there is a reason, even if it is very simply for his Daughter to recognize the gift and potential of her own existence because of the love and dedication given to her, by her Father, through his.

(A Special Thanks to Dave and Kay Phillips for being gracious enough and kind enough to take so many awesome photographs at Daddy's Party. We are very grateful)

 



"Listen...Do you want to know a secret...?"

As the Beatles once sang...
"Listen...Do You Want To Know A Secret??? Do You Promise Not To Tell??? Dad Will Be 64, Oooh Oooh Ooohooh!"
Or something like that I think, but my point is, that we are throwing a SURPRISE Party for HIM!!!! So............
                               SHHHHH!!!
Anyone and everyone is invited and we have posted the information on most social media sights and here on the blog as well because although Daddy knows what is posted here and on FB it is only when someone pulls it up for him that he can actually see it. I think he is still a little lost when it comes to me having to explain that "it stands for World Wide Web Daddy..." sooo pretty sure we are safe. Please invite anyone who you think might not have a chance to see this but would love to come. Here are the details we posted on FB:

 

On Sunday October 27, 2013 across the Nation there will be many walks, vigils, and celebrations held in support of all those "Crusaders" who have battled or are still battling Pancreatic Cancer. In honor of Daddy and his tremendous efforts over this past year, as well as in Celebration of his 64th Birthday, we are throwing a "SURPRISE" Celebration of our own. We want to make sure everyone who would like to attend and show their love and support for Daddy is invited, so please invite any family and friends who are not on Facebook or who may not be linked to us on Facebook to please join us anytime between the hours of 6:30-8:00pm on the evening of Sunday, October 27th @ the Leilani Ward House- 10375 S Leilani Dr (615 E) Sandy, UT. If you would like to be there for the "SURPRISE" please be present at 6:15pm; Daddy will be arriving at 6:30pm. Once Again this is a "SURPRISE" so SHHHH!!!! Also if you would like to wear purple in support of "Pancreatic Cancer Crusaders" everywhere, you are welcome to do so. Please, No Gifts, just come have some ice cream with us and enjoy how Awesome Daddy totally is!
If you have any questions you can FB Message Me (Becky Wintle Marsh), Call Me, Text Me, whatever you want. We would love to get as accurate of a count as possible for Refreshment reasons so please, RSVP if possible and let me know if anyone outside of the Social Media World is coming as well.

Thanks; Can't Wait!!!
Becky
801-414-7317

 

"Always My Hero; My Dad."

Daddy has always been more than the average Father, and has always made me feel that I was more than the average daughter. Since the day I was born Daddy has lead me to believe that I was something extraordinary but what Daddy doesn't know, is that since that Father's Day in 1980 he has always been my Hero!  Daddy's whole life has been structured around believing things are bigger, better and brighter than anyone else could imagine, so it is no wonder that he has surpassed all expectations surrounding this diagnosis. We should have known when the Dr. said the "Average" Prognosis for a Pancreatic Cancer Patient is 4-6 months that 1 year later, Daddy would still be here proving that he is indeed, "Anything but Average." This particular milestone however is much more than just a simple accomplishment; it is much more than setting a goal and achieving it. What it is, is a miraculous gift of hope and inspiration for all of us; especially, for those families who are experiencing the helpless feelings and emotions that come with being told, "You have Cancer." Or for those families that may be sitting in a treatment center the first time or for the last. It is painful, confusing, and paralyzing but Daddy is proof that you still have a choice and when you choose how it is that you are going to embrace it, you will find that there is still profound purpose and meaning to within each and everyday that is still, yet to come.                                                          

Over the past year Daddy has experienced a lot of triumphs and victories, milestones and celebrations. He has visited new places and made new friends, as Daddy always does, but he has been able to enjoy these moments because he made a choice to recognize those opportunities when they were there. Daddy is 63 years old, about to turn 64 and there are so many other things that go into defining who he is before and besides a Cancer Patient. Daddy is brilliant, he is beautiful and brave. He is insightful, thoughtful, spiritual and strong. He is creative, goofy, silly and fun. He loves his Family and his Friends. He is a beacon of light to those facing any degree of darkness and unknown and it is all of these characteristics and more, that have not only helped him to endure this circumstance, which we refer to as Cancer but that has also allowed him the ability to see through the fear and into the purpose of his Future. The Courage, Hope and Belief, he has had in himself, his family, and his Faith is inspiring and will forever influence the choices and decisions we all will make throughout our lives but the EXAMPLE he has been for me, not only through out this past year but throughout my entire life is exactly the reason why he IS and will "Always Be, My Hero; My Dad!"

Lessons From My Father

 

It has been nearly a month since Daddy was told there were no more treatment options for him and he is doing quite well. He has since had a catheter placed in his abdomen so his stomach can be drained every couple of days and this has made all the difference in the world. He has been able to keep food and liquids down and has not thrown up once since this was put in place. My Mother takes extraordinary care of him and keeps him very comfortable. He is not in great amounts of pain but tires easily; his physical strength is diminishing, however his "Will Power" is something that Cancer can never force him to give-up or take away from him; because of this he made it to Fish Lake, just as he had planned to, another milestone for him, another lesson for the rest of us. It was his belief that if he did all that he could do to prepare himself physically he would be blessed with the health, strength and assistance needed for him to be well enough to enjoy this time with his Family. He did more than just believe this would happen, He knew that it would happen and he was right; everything came together. Neighbors and Friends went out of their way to help contribute to his trip. They made special flies for him to fish with, changed the oil in his ATV's and drove 6 hours out of there way to tow his Trailer, not just once but twice in one week. As I have mentioned in previous posts, it is the Compassion of others that make the difference, once again
here is an example of that; we are humbled by your kindness, grateful for your good works and thankful for your compassion.
As I was fishing next to Daddy I laughed to myself as I  thought back to him teaching me to tie my own fishing pole. Daddy was always my biggest support when it came to me hating most things normal little girls loved, which was great but what it meant for me was a lot of various lessons learned in life that most little girls don't have to experience. What I remember about this particular experience and lesson in my life was him saying to me,
"Becky I am going to teach you how to do this so you can start doing it yourself from now on, and then I can actually Fish!" It is a lesson I not only remember, but instructions and directions I have recalled and followed ever since. This past summer I was called to serve in the Young Woman's group in our ward. For those who may not be members of my same Faith this is a youth organization constructed within the LDS church to help guide, direct and hopefully instill a spiritual sense of purpose and direction in the girls, only we have a lot of fun doing it. One of the traditions of this organization is a Summer Camp, we refer to as Girl's Camp....way better than Scout Camp by the way, trust me!!! Anyway this year I found myself with another leader who had gone out of her way to plan and prepare to take a group of 12-17 year old girls fishing. Remembering of course what Daddy had taught me long ago I was very excited to volunteer to help and Renee was very excited there was another leader who would be able to. Now for those of you who have children you will very much appreciate when I say I went in totally unprepared. Within 10 minutes there were snagged lines, snapped lines, broken bubbles, broken reels, hooks in jeans and girls who were just learning to cast and making it about 4 ft out in front of them, still in the rocks. I found myself frustrated and shaking my head when Daddy's words came to my mind. "Becky I am going to teach you how to do this so you can start doing it yourself from now on, and I can actually Fish!" I thought it funny then and appreciated it even more now as I stood next to him on the bank and watched as several Grandchildren were now taking his bait, losing his pliers and asking to hold his fishing pole while he fixed theirs... I totally got it!

Another lesson I learned from my father was that "if you caught it, you cleaned it." and I don't mean give it a bath, I mean open heart surgery. This has been a helpful skill to have learned because although I enjoy catching the fish I do not enjoy eating them, and there is a guilty place inside my me, most call it a conscience, that tells me not to fish and waste. So I have found that if I volunteer to clean the Fish I am not forced into cooking or eating them yet I can still enjoy catching them with a clear conscience. This go around as I was preparing to clean the days catch I found that two of my nieces were tailing me and I thought this an opportunity to pass on the lessons of my Father and bestow upon these very curious 3 and 4 year old girls the wisdom Daddy had once bestowed upon me, only this experience ended with one niece in tears on the ground under the tailgate and the other one asking through looks of shock and horror, "Becky, do I have to do that when I get bigger?" My response was the same as Daddy's, "only if you catch them."


























Daddy has taught all of us many things over the years, how to safely use and handle a firearm (My experience with this by the way was Daddy volunteering to run from tree to tree in order for us to successfully measure the distance and accuracy each pump of the BB Gun would cover; lesson learned here is that 10 pumps is enough to hit a grown man in the tushie from about 25 ft. away and it is very accurate,) he has also taught me life saving survival skills so when your lost and left out in the elements to sleep overnight you can scream loud enough for help, that works by the way. Another life altering lesson was that at the age of 8 taught Daddy taught me to drive his 3 wheeled ATV, which I quickly put into a ditch, an tipped over on top of me but as I stood there reflecting on these things although they were entertaining and fun I realized they were not nearly as important as the Spiritual Lessons that he has always taught me and by standing there casting out his line, was still teaching me.
The necessity to always exercise ones Faith is so much more essential than knowing how to load a BB Gun, and Daddy's ability to do this astounds me. We are talking about a man who believes in miracles, who believes that if it were part of a greater plan, a higher power could and would take this cancer from him, healing his body totally and completely; yet he has strength and courage enough to accept that his greater purpose, much more Divine, may be elsewhere. Daddy's Liver is failing, his body is shrinking, and his physical abilities are slowing but as he faces these challenges, spiritually he is still growing, learning and teaching me lessons that I will remember for the rest of my life. As I face the pain and fear adversity brings I will reflect on these moments; I will remember seeing him standing at the edge of that Lake and recognize the Courage and Spiritual Strength it took to get there. I will apply this lesson and all that he has taught me, because just as Daddy knows in times like these what we all need to do is as promised in Joshua 1:9-
"Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest." and we will never be left comfortless.
Daddy believes this, his choices and decisions reflect this and his "Faith" in action testifies of this; another Lesson from my Father and one that I am happy to share with you!
Never Give Up; Do More Than Just Hope, Be Strong, Courageous and BELIEVE!!!

 

 

 

 



"Chemo Coaster..."

Jake Baby Blessing

Bailee Baptism

Ammon Baby Blessing

It is not my intention to use this blog as a platform to document the misery and deterioration that this disease can cause, especially since it is impacting the life of my Father, however it is a place where I can share experiences that may help others to know they are not alone in thinking and feeling the many thoughts and emotions they will also experience as Caretakers, Family Members, Friends or even a Cancer Crusader themselves. My hope is that by sharing who Daddy is as a person, and the choices he makes each day to "Stand Up To Cancer." someone may find the comfort and solace they are seeking and know there is happiness to be found within the hours that pass throughout the days, months and hopefully years after a Cancer diagnosis. So I will give a brief update on the physical alignments he is experiencing at this time but will focus mostly on the choices he has made in continuing to live and laugh with those around him while he is blessed with time to do so.Since my last post Daddy has had a catheter placed in his abdomen, allowing us to drain his stomach from home on a more consistent basis; Mom does this and she is amazing. 

Moon Lake

Fish Lake

Bear Lake







Swimming in St. George

 "Leftie and Rightie"

The first few times we did this it was a little                   

bit startling, but knowing that when we do  it Daddy is able to avoid having to endure the discomfort, nausea and dehydration that he would be experiencing otherwise gets you past the emotional heartbreak real quick. Since the placement of this catheter Daddy has been able to eat and drink a little more, not that he wants to, but he does it and has been able to keep it all down! His hands and feet are still sore but when "Leftie" and "Rightie" (Mindie and Sarah) are in town they do a great job moisturizing his feet which helps a lot, so he has now appropriately nicknamed the two of them "Leftie and Rightie." His circulation is not fantastic, if he sits for too long his legs and ankles begin to swell and he turns into an Avatar, at least from the knees down anyway. His energy levels are still low but he is able to get up and down for short periods of time. He even attended church last week to help take part in the Blessing of a "Jedi," Ammon Lucas Wintle, his latest grandson. If you haven't read the "Book of Mormon" and your not a fan of  "Star Wars" you won't get any part of that joke, but trust me it's funny and it makes Daddy Laugh every time. Hospice comes in twice a week and of course, as expected they are very kind and empathetic to our situation. They provide a lot of peace of mind and validation, especially for our Sweet Mother who does such an incredible job taking care of Daddy. To be honest I don't know how she manages to get through the day  sometimes but she does it; her dedication is definitely eternal.                                                    

41st Wedding Anniversary- Manti Temple

 

It has been very difficult to watch Daddy go into this decline over the past few weeks, however we do not overlook the incredible blessings and the kindness our Father in Heaven has shown to us. I remember thinking when Daddy was first diagnosed nearly a year ago how grateful I would be if we could only have him with us for another year. Here we are today, nearly at the end of that request and I am grateful. Not only were we given this time with Daddy but he has also been blessed with the health, strength and energy he has needed to enjoy this time with his Family and Friends. He has accomplished several of his goals and been able to participate and experience in what our Family has considered to be moments of measurements or milestones. Things like being well enough to celebrate Christmas, and then being able to see his 16th Grandchild, Jake Merrill, born and blessed. Of course his 41st Wedding Anniversary in March, spent at the Manti Temple and then an evening with Burt Bacharach! Bailee's Baptism and Confirmation in May, fishing trips throughout the summer, Major



My Birthday and Father's Day Golf

League Baseball Games, Swimming and Golf in St. George, my birthday of course (Only mentioned because I was born on Father's Day and so for Daddy and I this is like our own little Holiday) and then a milestone for our entire Family was of course, Father's Day itself. An opportunity we hoped we would have to celebrate with him here on this earth. He has been able to spend time at Moon Lake, Bear Lake, and St. George, seen Mary Poppins, The Beach Boys and last week he was able to attend, as earlier mentioned, the blessing of his 17th Grandchild, Ammon Lucas. Next week he is looking forward to another milestone, Fish Lake. A Labor Day camping tradition for my Family since I was young and that is where we are at now. Fighting everyday with Leftie, Rightie, Jedi's and Avatars for the life we want to live. You might be asking what do we do now or how we move forward after the Dr. has told us there are no more treatment options available? I think Dr. Seuss gives the best advice regarding this very situation when saying:

 

 "Sometimes the questions are complicated, but the answers are simple." 

 

And He is right, the answer for us is very simple. It is this, when Dr's Say there is nothing else they can do, then it is especially the time to make sure each day is one worth remembering, ours days as of late are spent looking a little like this....

Ladies and Gentleman keep your Arms and Legs in at all times, and enjoy...

"The Chemo Coaster-"