Homemade Programs and "The Silver Bullet"

Disclaimer: The Following Story is being shared at the request of my Mother and Father who think its pretty hilarious, and looking back, in a disturbing, but very fitting way, it is!

Oct 31, 2012
Halloween is one of my favorite times of year. I am not sure if its the weather, the candy, Trick or treaters, or Mom's homemade chili but these were all things I was very much looking forward to once again this year; that is until I got home. I walked into a very happy and energetic Daddy, I thought to myself, "Wow Chemo must have been good today, wonder if they gave him the placebo!" But then I caught up with his ramblings and understood what it was he was going on and on about. He was describing to me something I have since dubbed as "The Silver Bullet." Here is the morbid, bizarre twist, to the story, in a very excited tone he was in fact describing to me, the very casket of which he  had just gone and picked out today, the day of all days to do so, Halloween! Now before there are too many mixed emotions here, let me clarify that there is no intent on Daddy using this anytime soon. In fact a discussion was had about not being too excited. And if it makes you feel any better, Mom picked out her casket as well (not a Silver Bullet). Now Mom would also like me to take this opportunity to clarify and make it very clear that she does NOT, in any way, like "The Silver Bullet." at all, she thinks it's ugly! Daddy on the other hand can't stop talking about it, "Becca, it's so shiny and two different tones. It changes colors as you walk past it." I think he may actually believe it is some sort of magic trick or optical illusion. As bizarre as this seems, He was genuinely excited to tell me all about this. They even made me sit down with them and review all the plans, and plot locations. All the arraignments that had been decided, everything that is, except the programs! Now this is where planning becomes something a little outside of my world, and understanding.  Mom was very adamant that the programs be homemade, and seem to have much love put into them. I am not sure what this means, or what the expectation around designing a funeral program is, so at this time I am appointing Sarah to be in charge of creating and printing Mom's Funeral Program, it is way too much pressure for me, Daddy, he doesn't care, you could probably just distribute pictures of "The Silver Bullet" and he would consider that to be stellar. To be Honest, much like what you are probably feeling right now, I was very confused and quite surprised that this conversation was so candidly taking place. I had a difficult time comprehending that we were sitting around the kitchen table discussing this and still listening to Daddy going on and on about how cool it was, shiny, two-toned and again, it changes colors as you pass by it. Finally he took a breath and I ceased the opportunity to ask "on Halloween, really? "They laughed and said  it was the perfect day to do it. Mom explained it was a relief to have things in order, that when life events like this happen it causes you to think about your family and your affairs, she made sure to reinforce her stance on the matter. This was not done because they have given up or are accepting what Mom simply refers to as nothing more than medical statistics, they are not planning on implementing any of the plans made today it was just something that needed to be done. "After all," she said, "I could be hit by a bus tomorrow!" she laughed and Daddy laughed. I guess she is right, she could be, although I doubt she will be, she could be, and as silly as this sounds she really didn't need to explain things to me, I understood it. Simple really, this was something they could go and do together, support each other or they could put it off and at some point, and in no particular order, one of them would have to do it alone, or at least without the other. So that's what they did, hoping for a discount and a good laugh, both of which they got by the way, they went on Halloween, together...sort of eerily Poetic in a way, but they seemed fine about it really, & when I left the room to go and try to make sense of what had just happened Daddy was continuing his rant on The Silver Bullet" and trying to convince Mom that "Double-Stacking" really is not that big of a deal and is much more cost effective, a cause which he has been championing for years and something that, in no certain terms, Mom strongly disagrees with! Don't Worry, Daddy can try all he wants, but they bought 2 plots and there will be homemade programs, and absolutely, no, Double stacking!!!!