Lessons From My Father

 

It has been nearly a month since Daddy was told there were no more treatment options for him and he is doing quite well. He has since had a catheter placed in his abdomen so his stomach can be drained every couple of days and this has made all the difference in the world. He has been able to keep food and liquids down and has not thrown up once since this was put in place. My Mother takes extraordinary care of him and keeps him very comfortable. He is not in great amounts of pain but tires easily; his physical strength is diminishing, however his "Will Power" is something that Cancer can never force him to give-up or take away from him; because of this he made it to Fish Lake, just as he had planned to, another milestone for him, another lesson for the rest of us. It was his belief that if he did all that he could do to prepare himself physically he would be blessed with the health, strength and assistance needed for him to be well enough to enjoy this time with his Family. He did more than just believe this would happen, He knew that it would happen and he was right; everything came together. Neighbors and Friends went out of their way to help contribute to his trip. They made special flies for him to fish with, changed the oil in his ATV's and drove 6 hours out of there way to tow his Trailer, not just once but twice in one week. As I have mentioned in previous posts, it is the Compassion of others that make the difference, once again
here is an example of that; we are humbled by your kindness, grateful for your good works and thankful for your compassion.
As I was fishing next to Daddy I laughed to myself as I  thought back to him teaching me to tie my own fishing pole. Daddy was always my biggest support when it came to me hating most things normal little girls loved, which was great but what it meant for me was a lot of various lessons learned in life that most little girls don't have to experience. What I remember about this particular experience and lesson in my life was him saying to me,
"Becky I am going to teach you how to do this so you can start doing it yourself from now on, and then I can actually Fish!" It is a lesson I not only remember, but instructions and directions I have recalled and followed ever since. This past summer I was called to serve in the Young Woman's group in our ward. For those who may not be members of my same Faith this is a youth organization constructed within the LDS church to help guide, direct and hopefully instill a spiritual sense of purpose and direction in the girls, only we have a lot of fun doing it. One of the traditions of this organization is a Summer Camp, we refer to as Girl's Camp....way better than Scout Camp by the way, trust me!!! Anyway this year I found myself with another leader who had gone out of her way to plan and prepare to take a group of 12-17 year old girls fishing. Remembering of course what Daddy had taught me long ago I was very excited to volunteer to help and Renee was very excited there was another leader who would be able to. Now for those of you who have children you will very much appreciate when I say I went in totally unprepared. Within 10 minutes there were snagged lines, snapped lines, broken bubbles, broken reels, hooks in jeans and girls who were just learning to cast and making it about 4 ft out in front of them, still in the rocks. I found myself frustrated and shaking my head when Daddy's words came to my mind. "Becky I am going to teach you how to do this so you can start doing it yourself from now on, and I can actually Fish!" I thought it funny then and appreciated it even more now as I stood next to him on the bank and watched as several Grandchildren were now taking his bait, losing his pliers and asking to hold his fishing pole while he fixed theirs... I totally got it!

Another lesson I learned from my father was that "if you caught it, you cleaned it." and I don't mean give it a bath, I mean open heart surgery. This has been a helpful skill to have learned because although I enjoy catching the fish I do not enjoy eating them, and there is a guilty place inside my me, most call it a conscience, that tells me not to fish and waste. So I have found that if I volunteer to clean the Fish I am not forced into cooking or eating them yet I can still enjoy catching them with a clear conscience. This go around as I was preparing to clean the days catch I found that two of my nieces were tailing me and I thought this an opportunity to pass on the lessons of my Father and bestow upon these very curious 3 and 4 year old girls the wisdom Daddy had once bestowed upon me, only this experience ended with one niece in tears on the ground under the tailgate and the other one asking through looks of shock and horror, "Becky, do I have to do that when I get bigger?" My response was the same as Daddy's, "only if you catch them."


























Daddy has taught all of us many things over the years, how to safely use and handle a firearm (My experience with this by the way was Daddy volunteering to run from tree to tree in order for us to successfully measure the distance and accuracy each pump of the BB Gun would cover; lesson learned here is that 10 pumps is enough to hit a grown man in the tushie from about 25 ft. away and it is very accurate,) he has also taught me life saving survival skills so when your lost and left out in the elements to sleep overnight you can scream loud enough for help, that works by the way. Another life altering lesson was that at the age of 8 taught Daddy taught me to drive his 3 wheeled ATV, which I quickly put into a ditch, an tipped over on top of me but as I stood there reflecting on these things although they were entertaining and fun I realized they were not nearly as important as the Spiritual Lessons that he has always taught me and by standing there casting out his line, was still teaching me.
The necessity to always exercise ones Faith is so much more essential than knowing how to load a BB Gun, and Daddy's ability to do this astounds me. We are talking about a man who believes in miracles, who believes that if it were part of a greater plan, a higher power could and would take this cancer from him, healing his body totally and completely; yet he has strength and courage enough to accept that his greater purpose, much more Divine, may be elsewhere. Daddy's Liver is failing, his body is shrinking, and his physical abilities are slowing but as he faces these challenges, spiritually he is still growing, learning and teaching me lessons that I will remember for the rest of my life. As I face the pain and fear adversity brings I will reflect on these moments; I will remember seeing him standing at the edge of that Lake and recognize the Courage and Spiritual Strength it took to get there. I will apply this lesson and all that he has taught me, because just as Daddy knows in times like these what we all need to do is as promised in Joshua 1:9-
"Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest." and we will never be left comfortless.
Daddy believes this, his choices and decisions reflect this and his "Faith" in action testifies of this; another Lesson from my Father and one that I am happy to share with you!
Never Give Up; Do More Than Just Hope, Be Strong, Courageous and BELIEVE!!!